If someone is being unkind or petty or jealous or distant or weird, you don’t have to take it in. You don’t have to turn it into a big psychodrama about your worth. That behavior so often is not even about you. It’s about the person who’s being unkind or petty or jealous or distant or weird. If this were summed up on a bumper sticker it would say: Don’t own other people’s crap. The world would be a better place if we all did that.
Cheryl Strayed, “Wild”
“You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how you love. There is courage in that.”— Bianca Sparacino How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)
communication is so damn sexy
busy for the day, but you hit me with a “i love you, but i need to do some work today, so I wont reply for a while” message? mmmm sext!!
gonna be distant for a while because of something personal, but took the time to send me a “dont worry it’s not about you but i need some personal time rn” text? ill be looking at wedding rings, while you get yourself where you need to be!!
basically, you don’t need grand gestures or to be present and available 24/7 to relay to someone that they are wildly important to you… you just need considerate fractions of moments and communication.
remember to cry for help without guilt-tripping. i know it feels like you’ve been abandoned and betrayed, but it’s probably not true, and it’s not okay to accuse the people around you of something they might not have done.
“i guess none of you like me” could be better phrased as “i feel unloved right now”
“but nobody cares anyway” could be better phrased as “i feel insignificant and i need reassurance”
rather than assuming others’ feelings, give them time to explain them. you’ll usually get a much better answer.
I used to think i was introverted bc I really liked being alone but it turns out I just like being at peace & I am very extroverted when I’m around people who bring me peace
